It's like that We Are Scientists song "Inaction" with these lyrics:
Counting on my relative friends
When this keeps coming up again and again
If everybody knows how its gonna end,
why doesn't someone stop me?
Because I'm sick of waking up on your floor,
for the sixth or seventh night in a row
I'm lying next to you in all of my clothes - someone stop me
I don't know where this post is going, I just have so many thoughts in my mind right now. Went on a glorious bike ride with Alex today, but because I am out of shape and haven't been treating my body properly lately, got super tired and now lying on the couch nursing multiple pulled muscles and other injuries from the previous days.
I have numerous bruises all over my body, mainly on my legs and a few on my arms from dancing outside by the fire to EGYPTNLVR by oOoOO, Magnetic Man, Crystal Castles and god knows what else, until 5 in the morning. I pulled a muscle in my left calf and I have no idea how, probably from that weird crate that had me falling into it all the time. My left wrist still hurts from my bike but I don't know why, I just know it's caused by my bike somehow. WHY DOESNT SOMEONE STOP ME.
My cat has been sick but she's getting better. I wish I could help her more than just shoving medicine down her throat and petting her when she comes to lie with me. IM LYING NEXT TO YOU IN ALL OF MY CLOTHES I fell asleep on Alex's couch last night watching Cowboy Bebop, slept for 14 hours straight with weird nightmares and very vivid dreams.
The party's alright, I might wanna stop drinking
What were we talking about?
My body won't tell my mind what I've been thinking
Before it's outta my mouth
Ooohhh
That's another We Are Scientists song, "Can't Lose".
I OUGHTTA GET OVER MYSELF cuz everybody says so. Maybe they are right and I am wrong.
Gah I hate Sunday nights so much. They are the loneliest time of the week. Start getting strange thoughts into my head, figuring life out a little bit though that sounds so cliche and stupid. I hate Sunday nights because they make me think of infinite SPACE and how I will probably never go there, a dream failed. It makes me think of summer nights outside under the stars, the time that boy punched out a window and we sat talking about light pollution. Or the time I sat under pouring rain with you drinking wine and talking about life, getting eaten by mosquitoes severely. Or that one time we sat on your roof and ran out of orange juice. Or the time you showed me your favorite childhood movie and for the first time ever we sat in your living room watching TV, not your laptop. Or when we were in a cab and you were talking about your three cats. Or the time your crazy friend drove us on some abandoned road and we all bumped our heads on the ceiling. These are all different people in each sentence. I can keep going.
When we used to kick the beer cans around like soccer balls. The times we walked up to that house being built and it was spooky. When I saw you putting the strobe to your face and wanted to die at that moment, and then when I watched your videos religiously for months straight. When we all moshed on the dirty floor hugging it out half the time. When we had a two-person dance party and I lay on the floor pretending to be a cat. When we had a two-person dance party and it was so hot in the room. When we sat outside at night and you were trying to make me feel better but my emotions were shut down anyway. When someone told me I am black inside. And when someone told me I am pure inside. When we sat in my room and I gave you my dress to wear and talked about shaving legs, and then another time when you opened up to me for the first time. When I got a text from you how you had to be with your parents and I was so furious I listened to metal for hours. When you drew me a picture in class and gave it to me afterwards. When we drew strange pictures for an hour and didn't listen to the lectures. When we all would hang out in the forest after classes and I felt so awkward but went anyway. The time I was concerned about you more than anyone else there. The times we used to take an afternoon nap together and you would purr the whole way through. The time you came out of the cage just for me and trusted me even though you were so scared. The times you used to climb up my legs to get on to the couch because you were too tiny to jump. And the times you used to steal food right off my fork.
When I used to get frustrated at how slowly you could eat your snacks and I would eat them quickly and watch you finish yours with envy. When I was more upset than any other time in my entire life but you had no idea about it. When a song still reminds me of you and those times in the bar, even though it's not a sad song at all. When you made me paranoid. When you read stupid books. When you ruined my coloring books by making Tom and Jerry red and sky-blue.
When we all drank fancy cocktails on your birthday and then saved the bill, and then when we went out to the fields one time and brought straw to your house and you were all scared to wake me up the next day. The time I used to not know you at all, and then once we sat on the steps looking at my cat book. The time I came in our drawing room to draw the trash and everyone was laughing at me but in a good way. The time that pizza flew on the floor but you ate it anyway. The time we had beer and grapes, and then when you made fried potatoes and we watched an old Russian movie. When we sat in that cafe talking alone for the first time. The time I told my name about 60 times in one night, but only about 2 people remembered it.
Remember the time you didn't know me, the time you knew me, and the time you regretted knowing me or not knowing me?
When we ran around the forest on your birthday dancing and drinking wine and eating cake. When we dressed up in weird clothes and froze to death outside, or when we had to do about 15 takes of one scene because you had the giggles. Remember when we sat on the couch together and it was kind of fun. Or when we walked home and it was kind of fun too. Or when I gave you a bunch of my art. Or when I rode in your car and you ate a banana. The time I drove on the highway almost shitting myself from fear. The time we walked around giggling all day and making up new words. When I put you on your swing and sat there telling you my life story. The time you were making up stories all day and it was cute.
The time I woke up thinking of nothing else but. And the time I woke up thinking of absolutely nothing. And then everything. The time I stayed up all night chatting on skype and then another night I wrote a poem about death. The night you came over and we drank wine and then another night I got to know a homeless person. The night you came over and we drank wine and then another time we stood on the platform. And then the night I came over for a drink and we shared music.
The time you would save up all your food for guests, and the last night. The time you punched him. The time I wanted to be baptised. The day I got baptised. The time we fought all lunch break and then you lost your watch and blamed me and wouldn't talk to me, and then the time we used to write to each other in my notebook instead of talking. The day I randomly met you on the street. The place we always used to meet.
Gosh I hope no one is actually reading this mushy stuff, it's so long and boring. Most of these memories are not from college, some are from London though. Actually I think only about two or three are about college. Meh I guess a lot of them could be with any person really but to me they are very specific memories. My cats are fighting right now. Time to sleep.
Counting on my relative friends
When this keeps coming up again and again
If everybody knows how its gonna end,
why doesn't someone stop me?
Because I'm sick of waking up on your floor,
for the sixth or seventh night in a row
I'm lying next to you in all of my clothes - someone stop me
I don't know where this post is going, I just have so many thoughts in my mind right now. Went on a glorious bike ride with Alex today, but because I am out of shape and haven't been treating my body properly lately, got super tired and now lying on the couch nursing multiple pulled muscles and other injuries from the previous days.
I have numerous bruises all over my body, mainly on my legs and a few on my arms from dancing outside by the fire to EGYPTNLVR by oOoOO, Magnetic Man, Crystal Castles and god knows what else, until 5 in the morning. I pulled a muscle in my left calf and I have no idea how, probably from that weird crate that had me falling into it all the time. My left wrist still hurts from my bike but I don't know why, I just know it's caused by my bike somehow. WHY DOESNT SOMEONE STOP ME.
My cat has been sick but she's getting better. I wish I could help her more than just shoving medicine down her throat and petting her when she comes to lie with me. IM LYING NEXT TO YOU IN ALL OF MY CLOTHES I fell asleep on Alex's couch last night watching Cowboy Bebop, slept for 14 hours straight with weird nightmares and very vivid dreams.
The party's alright, I might wanna stop drinking
What were we talking about?
My body won't tell my mind what I've been thinking
Before it's outta my mouth
Ooohhh
That's another We Are Scientists song, "Can't Lose".
I OUGHTTA GET OVER MYSELF cuz everybody says so. Maybe they are right and I am wrong.
Gah I hate Sunday nights so much. They are the loneliest time of the week. Start getting strange thoughts into my head, figuring life out a little bit though that sounds so cliche and stupid. I hate Sunday nights because they make me think of infinite SPACE and how I will probably never go there, a dream failed. It makes me think of summer nights outside under the stars, the time that boy punched out a window and we sat talking about light pollution. Or the time I sat under pouring rain with you drinking wine and talking about life, getting eaten by mosquitoes severely. Or that one time we sat on your roof and ran out of orange juice. Or the time you showed me your favorite childhood movie and for the first time ever we sat in your living room watching TV, not your laptop. Or when we were in a cab and you were talking about your three cats. Or the time your crazy friend drove us on some abandoned road and we all bumped our heads on the ceiling. These are all different people in each sentence. I can keep going.
When we used to kick the beer cans around like soccer balls. The times we walked up to that house being built and it was spooky. When I saw you putting the strobe to your face and wanted to die at that moment, and then when I watched your videos religiously for months straight. When we all moshed on the dirty floor hugging it out half the time. When we had a two-person dance party and I lay on the floor pretending to be a cat. When we had a two-person dance party and it was so hot in the room. When we sat outside at night and you were trying to make me feel better but my emotions were shut down anyway. When someone told me I am black inside. And when someone told me I am pure inside. When we sat in my room and I gave you my dress to wear and talked about shaving legs, and then another time when you opened up to me for the first time. When I got a text from you how you had to be with your parents and I was so furious I listened to metal for hours. When you drew me a picture in class and gave it to me afterwards. When we drew strange pictures for an hour and didn't listen to the lectures. When we all would hang out in the forest after classes and I felt so awkward but went anyway. The time I was concerned about you more than anyone else there. The times we used to take an afternoon nap together and you would purr the whole way through. The time you came out of the cage just for me and trusted me even though you were so scared. The times you used to climb up my legs to get on to the couch because you were too tiny to jump. And the times you used to steal food right off my fork.
When I used to get frustrated at how slowly you could eat your snacks and I would eat them quickly and watch you finish yours with envy. When I was more upset than any other time in my entire life but you had no idea about it. When a song still reminds me of you and those times in the bar, even though it's not a sad song at all. When you made me paranoid. When you read stupid books. When you ruined my coloring books by making Tom and Jerry red and sky-blue.
When we all drank fancy cocktails on your birthday and then saved the bill, and then when we went out to the fields one time and brought straw to your house and you were all scared to wake me up the next day. The time I used to not know you at all, and then once we sat on the steps looking at my cat book. The time I came in our drawing room to draw the trash and everyone was laughing at me but in a good way. The time that pizza flew on the floor but you ate it anyway. The time we had beer and grapes, and then when you made fried potatoes and we watched an old Russian movie. When we sat in that cafe talking alone for the first time. The time I told my name about 60 times in one night, but only about 2 people remembered it.
Remember the time you didn't know me, the time you knew me, and the time you regretted knowing me or not knowing me?
When we ran around the forest on your birthday dancing and drinking wine and eating cake. When we dressed up in weird clothes and froze to death outside, or when we had to do about 15 takes of one scene because you had the giggles. Remember when we sat on the couch together and it was kind of fun. Or when we walked home and it was kind of fun too. Or when I gave you a bunch of my art. Or when I rode in your car and you ate a banana. The time I drove on the highway almost shitting myself from fear. The time we walked around giggling all day and making up new words. When I put you on your swing and sat there telling you my life story. The time you were making up stories all day and it was cute.
The time I woke up thinking of nothing else but. And the time I woke up thinking of absolutely nothing. And then everything. The time I stayed up all night chatting on skype and then another night I wrote a poem about death. The night you came over and we drank wine and then another night I got to know a homeless person. The night you came over and we drank wine and then another time we stood on the platform. And then the night I came over for a drink and we shared music.
The time you would save up all your food for guests, and the last night. The time you punched him. The time I wanted to be baptised. The day I got baptised. The time we fought all lunch break and then you lost your watch and blamed me and wouldn't talk to me, and then the time we used to write to each other in my notebook instead of talking. The day I randomly met you on the street. The place we always used to meet.
Gosh I hope no one is actually reading this mushy stuff, it's so long and boring. Most of these memories are not from college, some are from London though. Actually I think only about two or three are about college. Meh I guess a lot of them could be with any person really but to me they are very specific memories. My cats are fighting right now. Time to sleep.
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