i want to go to space

A lot of my friends know that I am obsessed with space. But a lot of people don't know just how much I am obsessed with it.

Let me explain.

If an opportunity arose for me to go and live in space for months, years, etc, I would not hesitate for a second. I would leave my art, my friends/family, video making, education, everything, and go to space. I don't want to lead the life of the next semi-alright artist, the next undiscovered video maker, the next cool person on the town, the next person to live. I don't want to lead the life that many people have lead before me. I want to travel far into the universe, because humans are just little pests on the planet Earth, and I don't want to be another pest, another miserable worm. There is so much more out there than we could ever understand, but staying on Earth and thinking about it will never make us any closer to the rest of the world. I need to go there, I need to see the vastness of the universe, to feel the dark matter, to know that I am alone, and so be it.

What makes a human different from any regular animal? We can make art, and other animals can't. But think of this: if I was to go to space, to leave the comfort that Earth provides, that will make me an even more special human. And I think that's what we need to strive for, if we want to better our species, if we want to make the gap between humans and animals even bigger. We need to explore space more. And people need to stop complaining about how we're wasting too much money on space travel and space related things. People don't know how much we owe to space exploration! A lot of every day things that we take for granted were actually discovered for/in/because of space travel. So shut the fuck up and give 5 bucks a year so that one day the Mighty Kitten will be able to go visit Mars, and the Moon, and other galaxies.

New Gorillaz songs made me think of this today. My favorite is "Rhinestone Eyes" -
'while rain is falling like rhinestones from the sky'
I also love the visuals for "Superfast Jellyfish" and the song is fucking insane too -
'superfast superfast, I come in last, but just in time for breakfast'


My favorite song and video will always be Feel Good Inc.

My abs hurt from coughing all night.

london is my bff

"Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well." Sylvia Plath.
Today I sit in bed, for the first time in over a week, and stare at my computer screen. I realized I haven't been reflective enough this past summer, I haven't done a lot of things.
"Let's all die,
Let's die my way" - Hadouken.
I've never been into quotes, but today these two are circulating in my mind, so I just have to.

I never thought that settling in a different city could be so easy. Then again I never thought I would hate living in one place for more than a couple of years. I am surprised I am not sick of Bloomington, Illinois state, IWU, America. It's been two years there, with short breaks here and there. I sit in London and I still miss it, maybe it was those breaks that prevented me from getting sick of it. Having said that, I am ready to move on and go to grad school, or get a job, or do something else. I am optimistic about IWU, but at the same time thinking that when I come back from London, I will still have 1.5 years left there makes me kind of uncertain. Is this my future then? Never staying in one place, I have no home.. all that crap?

Or maybe I just want to explore everything in the world, and 2 years for one place is enough? I don't know, it's certainly confusing. I feel like I will never settle anywhere, because even when I move away from a place, and visit it later, it doesn't excite me at all. I've visited Prague many times after I left to America, and yet every time I'm in Prague I hate it just the same... I am a little bit disappointed that I am only staying in London for 3 months. I would like to stay here for two semesters, but I haven't even started classes yet! Maybe I'm just overly excited and I shouldn't be because I get excited about everything too easily.

We went to Wales last week. It was definitely exciting, refreshingly beautiful. I loved the horses, the sheep, they made me happy, maybe just the fact that they're still alive and not eaten/abused by humans. Yeah, I'm an animal activist so what? Someone has to be. Maybe I am a walking stereotype, but at least people like me DO make SOME difference to the amount of animals killed for human pleasure every year, so at least that. But I also loved other things in Wales. I liked how people are so calm. I absolutely loved the sea, but then again I am crazy about water, and as someone once said, I'm a mermaid. Here's a picture:

Picture taken by Chris Terrell.

I liked other things. How the pubs/bars/clubs were straight out of the 90s or early 2000s, how our homestay's family cat was suuuuuper fat and cute. The boats, the water (again)... yeah, I liked everything about it.

Now as for London... I don't even know where to begin! I love the tube, the buses, the long walks, the architecture, the people, the hipsters and others similar, the million other nationalities, "mind the gap", musicians in tube stations... Well, I realized this summer I really like the subway/metro/tube/underground .. it's called different in every country. The point is, I love it! I'm kind of obsessed with it even. I don't know why, but in every city I travel to, I always want to go on the trains and figure it out, and it's always my favorite type of transport, and I love everything about it. Here in London I love how the ceilings are low, how changing from one line to another is kind of like walking through a labyrinth sometimes. I like the musicians (as I already mentioned), the posters, the brick walls, the crowds, the trains themselves, the seats, the announcing lady... basically, I'm completely obsessed. Maybe one of those days I will just go on the tube, spend hours just travelling on the tube, people watching, maybe do some sketches as well.

I like everyone in my group (visiting students), I like the things we do, I like my college (Goldsmiths) because it's awesome and such. I can't wait to start working in my studio, I can't wait to draw and do artsy stuff, I can't wait to just ... do everything. I want to do music videos, and just film stuff in general, I want to be on the radio, I want to go to Tate Britain and pray in front of Turner and Gainsborough.