thats life??

Oh oh Kaisa posted yearbook photos, from when I was about 11-12. Am I so old? Yes. This was TEN YEARS AGO. Hm... let's recap?

Me, Maria, Ignat, Emily, Ilaria. BFFs? No, more like random people put together for a photo. Check out the midriff fashion going on. And the a-m-a-z-i-n-g pants.

A page about who we will be in 2016. I seem to be on the right path of what I thought I would be doing - being an artist. I'm pretty sure that's what half of it says. The other half is about how I want to do computer science and be a designer or some bullshit like that.

Me, Sveta, Enrico, Peter J, Ilaria, Veronica, Kaisa, Emily and Martina. Doing some science or something, because there is a man and his shadow. Me and Sveta used to love and hate each other at the same time.

Me and David and little Sab in the corner. I used to be so blonde, so smiley and so... happy??

Okay I am not going to name everyone, but I am in the top row second from the left, next to Kate, another girl that I had the love/hate friendship with.

Omg residential trip disco!! I am in the front in the neon pants and acid wash neon blue shirt, my hair going weeeaaaahhhhhh

Floorball!!! I am on the far right. I really miss this sport.

Me with some strange boy who I don't remember. Our yearbook makers were sOfUnNy

Year 7 play of some kind. I think it was the zombie one, I was the victim and my boyfriend was a zombie. I got killed in the end. Check out those awesome sneakers I'm wearing!!! I would totally wear them now.

After this came the years of being a goth/punk/metalhead, then my going out to clubs era, and then my indie/electro years of going to Heartbeats, making friends at ISP, and then? The last two tortured years of IB of doing mostly nothing but just really hating life and wanting to move away from Prague and go to college. Ahhh that's 10 years of being a teenager, all in one post.

a century

A century of re-defining of what art is and for what? So that an art student can say "I think realism is the most important aspect of art"? Really? Was the 20th century just a passing dream, an unreality? This is why I hate art students. They are so full of shit.... it's always either too conservative like here, or too "art is everything" like in Goldsmiths. There is never a happy medium but either way I will always lean towards the more liberal absurd definition of art rather than trying to put limits on what art can be.

That being sad, I hate deviantart.com. It's full of those conservative idiots. All the "liked" pictures are always realistic, drawn/painted with precision, is this what you value in art? How well-defined the features of that woman look on canvas? How well the brushstrokes are disguised? Come on we have hyper-realism for that. There is no freedom in art, or too much.

Completely off topic, how artsy is the new season of Skins??? Amazing shots, cinematography, sometimes it doesn't view as "teen drama" but as independent art film. Acting is awful but it adds to the beauty of it. It's so unrealistic that it makes so much more sense for everyone that was ever in the situation of those characters. For the first time, Skins is not about the most popular group of people, but the least - the freaks, and metalheads, the ambiguous sexualities, gay Dads, adopted child. Things that are more interesting than drugs drugs drugs. The second episode - no mention of drugs and alcohol only mentioned briefly. I am so impressed! The American Skins is not so bad either but I need to see more to determine if it is actually worth watching.

British Skins series 5 cast

American Skins cast

ifs

I have 20 minutes to waste. Go.

1. If I was going to marry anyone in this world, right off the top of my head I already know one person I wouldn't mind marrying. It's not like I love them or anything, or they love me. We have never dated, and probably will never see each other. We are not really friends. But I think if we were to marry, we would actually be able to stand each other for the next 20/30/40/50 etc number of years.
2. If I was to be in a band now I would want to be in Crystal Castles, in Salem, or in the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.
3. If I was to be someone famous, I would want to be Chloe Sevigny, Ellen Page, or Ewan McGregor (because he rides motorcycles)
4. If I was to picture myself 20 years from now, I see myself living in a huge semi-abandoned house/warehouse/factory/big space with lots of dogs, cats, bunnies, etc etc etc animals. But then also lots of artwork and working on videossssss

Today was such a strange day. Firstly I almost had a heart attack this morning when I saw someone sleeping on the couch and I had no idea that someone would be sleeping there. Secondly whilst digging Joce's car out of the snow I noticed bunny paw marks on the snow around the car, and exclaimed "Hey there was a bunny by the car!" That bunny was actually sleeping underneath the car. He jumped out, sprinted across the snow onto the road with cars and..... gOt RuN oVeR bY tHe CaR and I SAW IT HAPPEN AND IT WAS THE MOST DISTURBING THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. THAT SOUND WHEN THE BODY HIT THE WHEEL WILL PROBABLY FOREVER HAUNT ME. I screamed and hid my face. I couldn't breathe for a few. Apparently the bunny was okay and just ran off but no, that's still not okay. That was not a nice start of the day. Then I proceeded to the art building where I dropped off mine and Zig's artwork for the student art show. Hopefully all of our pieces will make it in. After that I went to study for my exam and this dude walked behind me and said loudly "DRUG ABUSE!!!! Yeah I'm studying too". Apparently he was in my class. I've never noticed him before. In the exam I didn't have a pencil so had to borrow one, my nose got super runny but I couldn't get my tissues/roll of toilet paper I carry around because I am too lazy to go to walgreens for tissues. Then after the exam I picked up a copy of the Argus where my Letter to the Editor got published. Also, it was a good issue cause there was an article about Tranny Ball and about Eurotrance. Niiiiice. Then I came here and realized my meeting is not at 1:15 but at 1:50 so I had to waste time. And just now I realized the clock on the computer is wrong and I have not 20, but 40 minutes to waste. Oh well.

Some interesting pictures.

Chloe Sevigny

Ellen Page

Ewan McGregor


I read on BBC today that 1 in 10 people worldwide is obese. That counts all the starving countries. What the fuck that means in "rich" countries every other person is obese. That is gross. People stop eating so much and go for a walk instead, or send your burger to that starving child in Africa. Go vegan. I don't know but do something cause this is fucking disgusting. Here is a link to the article: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-12357385

Here is a picture of obese children eating McDonalds:

And here is a picture of a cute bunny:

listerine

list to summarize days in reverse

1. first student of the year! and probably the only one. this will never make me feel like i have an actual job
2. video // painting on the knees // awesomeness
3. zig's seven sins and envy snake
4. jerry not in class, finished my 4th book
5. skipped class in the morning to do some art
6. healthy eating after stuffing my face with fries yesterday
7. both cats sleeping on me last night, cute but so uncomfortable
8. party monster viewing party that ... made me remember why i am so chill now and how i got there. sometimes i have to remind myself because anger is hard to manage
9. waiting for joce and jordyn for soooo long thinking they probably disappeared
10. pink pjs
11. lazy morning with cats and human cats
12. el portone finally on saturday
13. friday night = argh i wish i was a boy and i hate creepers
14. days are going by slow and pleasant. i love america
15. i have to make it 15 because 15 is my favorite number

for some reason i love making lists but the reason for this list today is trying to waste the last 15 minutes at work. get it, it's all about the 15s nowadays. i have to improve my russian it was so bad today, embarrassing completely. and i wish the scar on my hand would heal faster because it's very itchy. i can't wait for eurotrance and other shenanigans on the weekend. but waking up to news about moscow explosion was not enjoyable whatsoever. now it is 17:57 and i can start packing up to go home, finally. and since i always do pictures, here is one of me and enzo the cat

lists of

Lately I've been making a lot of lists, in my head, on paper, on my laptop. I need to get some of them out into the real world.

Things to look forward to:

1. Cat
2. Pentagrams and blue lips
3. Carrots and peas and various other fruit
4. NYe
5. Bandaged face and video camera
6. Cali

Things to describe me currently:

1. Marilyn Manson
2. Sweet Dreams
3. Wooden sticks
4. Party Monster soundtrack
5. Witch house meow
6. Life is getting scary

Pictures:

things i learned in london

We'll start with the most recent and go down in time.
1. Hot water bottle is the best invention in the world for cold sufferers like me.
2. Sometimes I have a lot more physical strength and endurance than I think I do.
3. Vegan cheese is not as bad as everyone makes it out to be.
4. I do like films, I just never understood what kind of films I liked.

5. Marmite tastes like heaven.
6. Rice milk tastes better than soya milk, unless its soya milk vanilla or strawberry.
7. Witch house is good.
8. If you think it's your bus stop coming up but you're not sure, ask!!! otherwise you end up in zone 5 that's off your map, completely lost.
9. It doesn't rain here as much as everyone says.
10. Homeless people still love me.
11. Don't trust people so easily.
12. Don't store personal information on your laptop, in case someone breaks into your house and steals it.
13. Don't rely on the police because they are useless.
14. Make friends with the people you live with.

15. Don't make friends with unreliable bastards from privileged middle class suburban families and kappa delta gamma alpha beta epsilon bullshit greek life. You don't make friends with them in America, so why make friends with them outside of America. They have nothing in common with you and act like they're 15 again. Pft.
16. Do make friends with the strange big hair big glasses bright orange sweater guy that sits across from you every day and doesn't speak.
17. The people in local off-licence stores will love you if you go there often enough, know your habits and give you freebies.
18. Fried potatoes are actually super tasty.
19. Avocados are the best, after tomatoes.
20. London is not as big if you learn the transport system.
21. Squirrels in Hyde Park let you touch them, especially if you bring them food. Cute!!!

22. New Cross is a dump. Don't live there.
23. British people are super nice but only if you're super nice.
24. Travelling is one of the best remedies for dark thoughts.

Now I'm off to lunch and then who knows what. Three more days and hopefully I'll be home.

Let Love In, please

Despair and deception, love's ugly little twins
Came a-knocking on my door, I let them in
Darling, you'e the punishment for all of my former sins
I let love in
The door it opened just a crack, but love was shrewd and bold
My life flashed before my eyes, it was a horror to behold
A life sentence sweeping confetti from the floor of a concrete hole
I let love in
Well I've been bound and gagged and I've been terrorized
And I've been castrated and I've been lobotomized
But never has my tormentor come in such a cunning disguise
I let love in
O Lord tell me what I done
Please don't leave me here alone
Where are my friends?
My friends are gone
I let love in
So if you're sitting all alone and hear a-knocking at your door
And the air is full of promises, well buddy, you've been warned
Far worse to be love's lover than the lover that love has scorned
I let love in.

Who doesn't love Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds?

And how about this song? Blue American by Placebo

I wrote this novel just for you
It sounds pretentious but it's true
I wrote this novel just for you
That's why it's vulgar
That's why it's blue
And I say, thank you
And I say, thank you
I wrote this novel just for Mom
For all the mommy things she's done
For all the times she showed me wrong
For all the times she sang god's song
And I say thank you Mom
Hello Mom
Thank you Mom
Hi mom
I read a book about uncle Tom
Where a whitey bastard made a bomb
But now ebonics rule our song
Those motherfuckers got it wrong
And I ask, who is uncle Tom?
Who is uncle Tom?
Who is uncle Tom?
You are
I read a book about the self
Said I should get expensive help
Go fix my head, create some wealth
Put my neurosis on the shelf
But I don't care for myself
I don't care for myself
I don't care for myself
I don't care
I wrote this novel just for you
I'm so pretentious, yes it's true
I wrote this novel just for you
Just for you
Just for you

How can you not love those pretentious pricks? I did once.
I think sometimes lyrics are slightly annoying poetry. I love lyrics.