Saturday, August 25, 2012

Coincidences

It is very strange when you find the weirdest coincidences in life, or stumble upon things in your life that somehow together are connected to a plethora of things you are doing at the moment.

This happened to me just recently. As you might know, I have recently made some new videos, and one of them is about immortality, called "The Immortal Man" and a while back, in May I think, I made a sort of tribute to rituals, satanic worship, witchcraft and a throwback to my "goth" days, all crammed into a video called "Salt for the Devil".

A week ago I was reading about gothic literature and came upon the novel "The Monk: A Romance" by Matthew Gregory Lewis. I decided to give it a try, more for a laugh than anything else because it is old-school kitsch and a reminder to me about what I left behind in my teenage years. To my surprise, after reading about a third of the novel I found two passages, almost within just a few pages of each other, that correspond to the two videos I made recently! One passage was about an immortal man, the other was about a ritual that included throwing some substance on the ground in a circle, and placing various objects in the shape of crosses around the circle. I would like to quote both passages, and I invite you, my reader, to read the first passage, then watch my video that coincides with it, then read the second passage and watch the second video. Links are provided beneath the quotes.

M. G. Lewis on Immortality:

"Fate obliges me to be constantly in movement: I am not permitted to pass more than a fortnight in the same place. I have no Friend in the world, and from the restlessness of my destiny I never can acquire one. Fain would I lay down my miserable life, for I envy those who enjoy the quiet of the Grave: but Death eludes me, and flies from my embrace. In vain do I throw myself in the way of danger. I plunge into the Ocean; the Waves throw me back with abhorrence upon the shore: I rush into the fire; the flames recoil at my approach: I oppose myself to the fury of Banditti; their swords become blunted, and break against my breast: the hungry Tiger shudders at my approach, and the Alligator flies from a Monster more horrible than itself. God has set his seal upon me, and all his Creatures respect this fatal mark!"

My video on Immortality:


M. G. Lewis on rituals:

"He next drew from the Chest a covered Goblet: with the liquor which it contained, and which appeared to be blood, he sprinkled the floor, and then dipping in it one end of the Crucifix, he described a circle in the middle of the room. Round about this he placed various reliques, sculls, thigh-boned; I observed that he disposed of them all in the forms of Crosses. Lastly he took out a large Bible, and beckoned me to follow him into the Circle. I obeyed. 'Be cautious not to utter a syllable!' whispered the Stranger; 'Step not out of the circle, and as you love yourself, dare not to look upon my face!' "

My video which involves some sort of improvised ritual:


Little note: I obviously know these are not exactly what my videos are about, my immortal man is very different and has his immortality on completely different terms, and the ritual performed in my video is completely different to this one.

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Enzo's adventures in a new house

Sorry but today's post is going to be incredibly silly. It is specifically for Jocelyn and Enzo to enjoy!

I was cat sitting for Enzo for three nights and... I got some incredibly funny photos of him trying to be all "tough" and at the same time failing and turning into a little kitten. Here is a compilation:





I hope you enjoy this sunny kitten on a sunny Sunday! Enzo, it has been a pleasure having you and we will gladly have you again!

Exist-an-tialist

Sometimes I watch something or I read something and I suddenly get a rush of incredibly existentialist ideas. Today watching two films which ultimately talk about the same thing, made me want to disappear into the void of the universe. Because life is never as beautiful and magical as we want it to be.

I don't really want to discuss the two films so I won't say what they were. I want to discuss the fact that I am now sitting in my bed, looking at my cat grooming herself without a care in the world, except caring whether I love her or Enzo (the other cat) more or less. I wish my life sometimes was as simple as growling and hissing when I am protecting my territory and then happily curl into a ball next to my favorite person in the world. I like that the cat leaves their favorite human no choice but to love them back and love them the most, because that is how awesome cats are. Why can't I do the same thing to my favorite human in the whole world? Why can't I make my favorite human be anyone in close proximity, why can't I settle for what I deal with and not worry about intelligence, looks or grooming habits? Cats like you more if you are a social shut-in, if you spend all day at home eating lovely greasy meat and cheese foods that they can steal from you, they love it when you sweat and don't shower and the more lazy you get, the more they enjoy rolling around in the dirt of your house. It's as if the cat wants you to be a total incompetent slob. And I am not saying I want to be a slob, I am just saying I wish I could choose my humans based on reversed qualities required of people to be liked by other people.

Enough about cats. Here is the real deal. I am (once again) disappointed in humanity. I am not having dark thoughts or feeling depressed and lonely, I am just contemplating humanity and how utterly disappointing it really is, most of the time.

What do I want in life? I want kindness, elegance, beauty, care, morality, appreciation, equality, emotional visual and auditory sensations. And because those are the things I want in life, they are the things I try to provide. I try to be as caring and kind as possible, with pure selflessness thrown in. I am an artist because I want to excite people, depress them, make them wonder, make them angry or laugh, all with my artwork. I really don't do much else in life except make art, look at art (also read, listen and think) and try to make the people around me happy, satisfied, help them in every way and truthfully care about them.

What starts to depress me is when none of this is seen by anybody, when none of this is even contemplated or given back in any shape or form. I hate when everything I do ends up in someone's emotional garbage, or literally just garbage. I hate when I realize, once again, how much nobody gives a damn about anybody, how much everybody spends on themselves and how little on the rest of the world, even just thinking about it. I hate when people assume things and I hate when people put words in my mouth. I hate most of all when people simply don't care and don't even try to care.

Sometimes I go to sleep with such dark thoughts that I have incredibly dark dreams, where fictional characters materialize themselves out of my dark thoughts and end up engulfing them, eating them, making them their prey. Sometimes I make peace with the most evil persons in my dreams, sometimes I make friends with them, and it's all because in my mind the dark thoughts are colliding with everything I hate about living as a human. How many times have I contemplated living as an hermit in the caves of Nepal? Practically at least once a week this thought crosses my mind, or living completely alone on the planet. It's a weird combination of the fact that I love life and I love everything in it, including humans, but then I also despise humanity and I hate the life that humanity leads, leaving me to imagine a world without them.

I am just upset I guess that life really is bitter, sour, morbid, full of fear and hate and apathy most of the time. I wish it wasn't, I wish there was something that interested every single person in the world and I wish people got rid of their inner demons and learned to appreciate one another. I wish everyone thought about beauty and elegance instead of ugly thoughts of hate and disgust. I wish everyone walked around with huge smiles on their faces and greeted each other and felt no grudges or judgemental feelings. I wish we all groomed ourselves properly and cared about what we put out into the world, and at the same time wished to be closer to stars and other galaxies and not afraid to think outside of our Planet Earth. I wish people were not scared of the universe and the fact that we are incredibly small and pathetic and unneeded. A lot of human problems would be solved once everyone realized we are not special or unique and therefore all the big-headedness would disappear and hopefully some harmony could return to the world.